Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
