It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
