Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
