no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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