I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
