i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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