It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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