I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
