is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
