wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
