she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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