smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
