Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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