will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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