Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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