Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
