My room smells like vodka and shame
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
