Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
