Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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