I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
