Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
