Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
