He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I need to stop coming to work sober
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize