Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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