This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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