loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't turn off my feet"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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