You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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