He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he had hair everywhere except his balls
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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