Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
