can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
