She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
