i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
