he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
