I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
