I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
