Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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