bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
