remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's like iHOP with fire
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
