just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize