yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
