After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
