real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
