I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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