So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
