We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
