Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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