i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
