Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize