I'm eating all of the evidence.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
