I must be too annoying 4 u.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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