I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
