call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
