I must be too annoying 4 u.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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