i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize