idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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