I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
