i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
