oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
