so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
