When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
