she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
